Goodbye 2014, welcome 2015! 2014 has been quite an adventure for me, and frankly it’s an exhausting one. Many things have already happened. But most of all, the best thing that ever happened to me is the introduction to three little babies (well, technically, it’s three little fetuses) inside their mommy’s tummy, which is happened to be my wife. Yes, she’s expecting triplets! I have shared this information ambiguously on Facebook, but I want to open the announcement now. She’s now in for four months. It has been ups and downs and problems, but right now, everything is okay with the pregnancy. I hope everything will be okay until the labor, because I’m so excited for them. We have been very careful for them this time. I don’t want to lose them again like the first pregnancy, where my wife lost her 1 month pregnancy last year. So, please pray for me guys.
Now that we’re talking about triplets, yes I know the future will be a hard path, having three little babies at the same time, crying at the same time, feeding them at the same time, and triple the cost of everything. But above all, I consider this as an honor that God trusted me with triplet at once, instead of one at a time, and I want to be thankful for all the gift God has given to me. And I hope I can update this blog more often to tell the story of my parenthood and the children in the future. I hope that would be an awesome way for them to know my way of thinking once they have been grown up. I’ll try to record my thought in this blog, and probably some of their future photos. I’ll let them know that even before they’re born, we the parents have already thought about them so much. This kind of reflection is always kinda lost in the process of life, and the children will never know that. So, for this first post in 2015, I will start with my personal note for my future parenting. I love to learn about philosophy and psychology, and parenting actually my most favorite topic on psychology. I’ve quite looking about parenting tips for months, well, even years, before I even married, so I hope you guys can get something from this too. This time, let’s talk about how to raise our children so that they can be an independent adult.
How to Raise an Independent Adult
Parenting means not raising children, but raising future adults. So many parents done this wrong, and their children becomes a spoiled king or queen and took everything for granted, which will be very bad for their future. So you have to keep in mind that they need to be proper independent adults, not overgrown children who keep dependent on you. And that means:
1. Mean what you say, and say what you mean, even if it’s unpleasant for you and them. Once you say no video games on school day, that rule must be applied whatever the situation. Once you say no ice cream today because of their health issue, they mustn’t get ice cream today, no matter how much they cry for that. Children will obey you more if you are consistent, and that in turn helps you to shape them into better persons. Let them know that there’s no other choice than being a better person.
2. Let the children do their house chores. Teaching the children to do the chores, instead of do it by yourself, is actually more exhausting. Many parents do all the house chores by themselves not because they don’t want their children to suffer, but because they need to double the effort from teaching the children how to do the chores, and still get the chores done. But the result will be worth it. All the pride because the children can do something on their own will boost their confidence. Actually, the more the children involved in house chores, the more they will have good manner outside and inside home. And no money reward involved in house chores.
3. Let the children understand that it’s normal to putting effort for something they want. There are no shortcuts. Well, maybe there are, but mostly, shortcut only available when seen from the right angle, and to have the right angle, they will also still have to work for it. So there’s nothing wrong with putting some effort for it. It’s a common thing. They mustn’t allergic to work their butt off.
4. Let the children know that there’s nothing too complex that would be impossible to be done. There’s nothing too complex of fixing a car that we should stay away from it. There’s nothing too complex of cooking that we should avoid it. Children should learn how to do everything using their hands, that with their hands there’s nothing can’t be accomplished, so they will grow depending themselves on it, instead of depending on you, or always running to you whenever they have problems.
5. Punish them for their fault. Hard. But remind them that even in the punishment session, this serve to make them a better person, and you do this only because you love them. My mom always said to me, “If I were the pedicab driver’s son, she wouldn’t even mind to told me anything when I do any mistake.” Punishment brings uneasiness to both sides, as the Bible said, but after that, there’s a hidden treasure you’ve given to your children if you do it right. Teach a youth about the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.
This link below inspire me to wrote this article.
So, do you have your own tips for parenting? Please put it in the comment section below.