I hate it when I missed good daily prompts. When I browsed the reader on WordPress, my eyes suddenly stumbled on one of the daily prompt topic 2 days ago:
“And they lived happily ever after.” Think about this line for a few minutes. Are you living happily ever after? If not, what will it take for you to get there?
Well, as I’m reading that words there, I’m thinking whether this question is bound to marriage-type question, or this is an open ended question in nature.
When I’m doing this meta-thinking that I was even think about what was the question really means, one or another, I’m thinking again “Do I think some part of my life is in ‘happily ever after’, and some are not?” If all aspect in my life is in the ‘happily ever after’ state, then I won’t even think about where to start. I can start from anywhere, or with anything, as all aspect of my life is fulfilled. Well, I can even write it down right now, a life that’s looks like it’s fulfilled as a whole, and makes me to the reader looks like some kind of happy angel coming down from the dawn of the sun.
But I know that’s not true. I think my life is still far from ‘happily ever after’. I even think it’s still far from okay. But then, I re-thinking it again, is it because of people’s opinion?
You know, all of parents’ wish is that seeing his adorable children have a fulfilled life, and they will do anything to make that happen. And sometimes they REALLY do anything possible. Like looks down on their children’s current job, and watching to blue skies above, where the star lies, and order them to build a rocket in order to get there as soon as possible. There’s nothing wrong with that attitude — always strive for the higher place. Except that when they do that, they –inadvertently, I think– belittle my current job, and makes me cannot feel proud with my current job. The problem is, I need to be able to feel proud with my current job, in order to fuel me to go to the next level. Proud is some kind of magical fuel that boost me like an endless supply of nitro to go forward — well, as long as the proud fuel itself is unlimited, of course.
But that’s always not the case. We all know that everyone needs to feel they have already done something in his current life, even though that doesn’t always connected with fueling the motivation to go forward. But in my case, it’s necessary. I think. And with my own personal hobby to tinkering with human emotion and psychology, especially my own, I know clearly what my fuel is. At the very base of the motivation, it’s not about praise from people. It’s supposedly self-sustaining; proud supposedly coming from the inside, not from the outside. If we feel proud because people praise us, usually it’s not proud, but uppish. Proud must coming from within, clearly satisfied from one’s work, and know why he’s satisfied. Only that way, the proud factor can be pure. But as we’re human with interaction, our proud meter certainly can be affected through what other’s view toward us. Sure, we can always, “Ignore what people say about you, just go forward.” But that’s only in theory. If just one people say that, you’ll be okay. But how if one thousand? Only a few selected people can survive undergo that apocalypse nuclear war going on in vast battle of mind, and still coming out as a survivor, if not as a winner.
So, in this case, my inability to shrug off what people said about my current career, and what people’s expectation about me, turns me into a confuse chaos, where I never feels secure about where my feet currently planted at. I just wish that someday there is a magical bean from Jack and the Beanstalk fall from the sky and grow into gigantic trees to the cloud where I can climb it and gain instant success. But as we know that there is no castle in the cloud, let alone we can walk in the cloud, there’s also no instant success that can last for sufficient long enough time for scientist to gather data and analyze whether instant success is really worth it, or it’s just a myth, like the magical bean itself. If we want to stand in the cloud, we need to climb onto the nearest, cloud-level-high mountain, or better, we need to build our own mountain. But, as to go to that level I need a bigger fuel, right now it’s still out of question for me. It’s a shame for me to say that, but I really hope that I will find what I’m searching for, in order to be able to stand in the mountain, and be a winner of life.
In other case, I almost become a winner — In a couple of months, I’m going to be a happy groom, and my girl friend will be the happy bride. So we’re now a happy bride- and groom-to-be. I even put the slogan “Our own fairy tale” as the main theme of the wedding.
But what I realized as the time passed, is that even though a wedding clearly a winning step over some phases in life, it’s also the opening door into more bigger phases. If I want to reword it, a wedding is not more like a winning in championship, but rather, a winning in a business proposal tender. When you win a project tender with million-dollars value over hundreds of other companies, it’s a big win. But that only signalling that new big job is waiting ahead in front of you, as the consequences of the tender. That big win in the tender, can quickly become the big loss if you’re not working diligently and creatively in fulfilling the promises. I think that’s the same in marriage. We do the ultimate vow in life, to be together in health and sick, rich or poor, taking care of you and fulfilling your needs, and so on. But in the end, the one that’s determining about the “happily ever after” certainly not the vow itself, but the effort in fulfilling the vow.
So, as for my romantic life, I don’t know how should I say, as I still haven’t married yet. As for now, everything is just fine between me and my girl. Even great. But we all know that even in a fairy tale, nightmare always lurking somewhere. Because without the nightmare, the part where the sun is shining and flowers bloom won’t have any real meaning, except just an ordinary season. It’s everybody’s wish that we’ll sail past the dark cloud and find the green land where the roses are red and violets are blue, to write our own fairy tale.
What’s your own definition of fairy tale?