When You’re Near (有你在)

Love is like a magnet. That’s what two people in love will tell you. A least, it’s not must always be “in love” terms. When you feel comfort to be around somebody, you already have an “atmosphere of love” going on between you two. Why? Because strangers won’t be willing to sit nearby, next to each other, especially for a very long time. People has this “private space” border erected around them. The distance is different from one another. Some has this border erected in radius of 1 meter. You can see this type of person when in public place. There’s unlikely any strangers sitting next to them, if not in forced condition, such as there’s no available seat anywhere else. Other people maybe has this border erected just around 1 cm, meaning than they can go around with new acquantices easier and become comfortable faster. But all in all, if someone has letting you in into his/her private space willingly, there’s must be something more than just ‘a stranger’ between you two.

“You ni zai”; When you’re near. This song by Vannes Wu has been echoing in my mind for a while since I heard it for the first time. Well, the truth is, I just listened to it in 20 minutes ago, of course it’s still fresh in my mind. 🙂 That makes me think, when two people have deep relationship between them, the presence of other sometimes already enough to give the “essence” needed for the relationship, even without words spoken. Let’s talk about something simpler than eros love. When you hanging around with your friend, or maybe you visit your friend’s house or the opposite, if it happens very frequently, then sometimes there’s not so much interaction between you too. For the case of the boys, sometimes the house owner is just relaxing at the bed reading comics, while his friend(s) playing computer or card game next to him. While there’s maybe almost no interaction happened between them, as his friend(s) visit very frequently, the peresence of his friend is already enough to make him feel they already interact.

This is even stronger when there’s deeper type of “love” involved. If you see a couple fall in love eating out on a restaurant, sometimes they just giggling, saying nothing of importance, just watching each other, and then grinning again. Are they mad? Yes, they’re madly in love! But the secret of why the presence of the one they love is already enough even without words spoken is until now still a mystery.

Not so far in the past, I read about 5 languages of love test from a website. In summary, it’s the different type of way that you tend to use to show to the people you love that you love them. It’s:

  1. Words of Affirmation: you’re saying directly that you love them, and word of praises. If you’re the type of people who aren’t hard to say words of praises or affection, then this is your way to saying that you love them.
  2. Quality Time: maybe you’re not that good with words, but if you always trying to be with that person of importance, and even give your valuable time without even looking at your agenda, then that’s your way of showing your love to them, by being there whenever, wherever they needs you.
  3. Receiving Gifts: you like to give gifts. Not just ordinary gifts, but a well thought gifts. You always trying to remember whatever he/she likes/dislikes, and often spent hours to search and considering what’s the best gift that will likely makes the gifts receiver happy.
  4. Acts of Service: you like to do anything so that you can make them happy. From bringing his/her stuff, to even searching at the internet to help completing homework tasks.
  5. Physical Touch: you like to do physical touch with that person of importance. Your touch and gestures differ from the common people, it’s like that your touch is alive, and sending love signal to that person, in a positive way of course. You choose carefully where you will touch, and you tried so hard to not making bad impression with that.

This “when you’re near” need is activating all those five languages of love. In fact, you do those languages of love when you’re near them, or so that you feel you’re near them. For example, for the people who like to give gifts, they feels near the ones they love when picking and comparing gifts. Another example is you voluntary gives time so that you can be near the one that you love, even if it’s just “near” at the phone calls.

Well, if you have someone that’s dear to your heart, today, now, it’s the most right time to show them your language of love. Just listen to your heart, do you have the urge to be always be near them? If it’s there, then you have to show it, before they’re gone forever from your life. I have let so many people gone from my live just because I don’t know and afraid to show them that I love them, so don’t repeat the same mistakes that I do. And don’t forget to listen to that song. You Ni Zai, by Vannes Wu, OST Taiwan TV drama Material Queen. It’s a very nice calm song, and I think you’ll like it. 🙂 Feel free to share your thought.


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