Anyway, I’m facing a very huge changes in my life in the recent months, specifically at April to June, and I think, the episodes is still to be continued. Hahaha. I’m facing very much problems, problems with friends, problems at work, economic problems, and everything. Even another relatives died approximately a week ago. My father’s sister, to be exact. So within 2 months, 3 of my relatives were died. But I believe if I’m still standing right here, it’s not all because of me, but because the work of the Greater being within me. 🙂
In the recent months, I also doing a huge change in my life. I’m trying to move to the “safer grounds”, and doing what I had to do to keep my life going on. I had to release many of my activities thanks to the advice of my best buddy. I have to be more focus about what I want to do in my life. It’s like the world telling me that playtime is over. Well, I don’t really think that I was playing something all this time (I feel that I’ve doing all my activities seriously), but now I have to be even more serious about everything. Life isn’t exactly very nice toward each of us, and I’m not gonna be nicely too with life. What I’m trying to say is that if I have to fight the fate, then that’s what I’m gonna do. I was sitting very nicely with a nice “attitude” toward life, and living peacefully by “training myself” to accepting whatever gonna happen in my life. And don’t get me wrong, it’s really working to give myself an inner peace, because I was a person that’s always worried about everything, worried that the world is gonna fall apart in any minute. But, after I’m doing some introspection within these recent months, now I realized that while it does gives me my own inner peace, it isn’t with other people that interact with me. So, all in all, I really have to change myself again to be a better person, for the sake of the significant others.
But what’s more important, is that God doesn’t give me any “time out” from my life, even though I’m facing very much problems. At those very dark times, He even still sent someone in the desperate need for help. I was about ready to say that “It’s not only you who have problems!” when suddenly there was these soft voice rolling over my heart “Why you sent someone home and saying ‘come back tomorrow, I will help you’, when you have what he needs, today?” I want to protest immediately, but again, that soft voice saying “What would you feel if you are in his position? Wouldn’t you desperately want someone to help you too?” with that kind of argument, I’m speechless, and at the end, giving the help that person needs, even though I actually also needs the help that I’m giving to him, but my condition is not as bad as him.
Today I really want to testify that, even if we’re on our very darkest moment, there are and there will be another person that’s in a more painful and sorrowful condition than us. When we only focus on our sorrow, then the worse it will be. But when we still trying to focus to someone else’s problem, we will know that our problem is not as bad as he/she is, and we’re very lucky to only have “this kind of level” of problem. We will be able to go on and continue with our lives, knowing that our problems are less heavy that what it is before. In giving, we are declared that we’re not defeated by our problems, and we show to ourselves, to God, and to the devil, that we still can become a blessing in the middle of crisis. That’s why, this sentence that was said long time ago by a Great Man with a noble heart is very true:
“It is more blessed to give than to receive.”