A Session with Parents

I forgot when was the time I and my parents got involved in a serious discussion. I do still communicate with them, but not in an extensive way. But from time to time, we do have a serious and two way conversation. Tonight is such an exception. Because I’m free tonight, we go to a restaurant together. On the way there, my dad drove the car to the gas station. While he filled the car, I talked to my mom. Actually, I was planning to say this for some time, but never got a good chance. I suddenly think, it’s now or never, because never is something that actually can be happen when seeing my hesitation.

“Mom.” I said, after a long silent scene in the car (and after I heavily swallowed my saliva).

“Yes, honey,” she turned around from the front seat.

“Umm, just want to say that I’m sorry if sometimes I’m very stubborn when you gave me advices. Such like advices about grandma.”

“Uh huh. What do you mean?”

“I mean, I know that you’ve been trying to changed and adapted about what’s the best way to giving advice. And I know that you’ve done it very hard and very well. I just… I just sometimes still can’t accept an advice straightforward. Well, sometimes I can, but sometimes, when the time isn’t right, I can display such a stubborn trait. But don’t worry, it’s just a matter of ego. When everything is cool down, I will usually be able to rethink about what you, or dad, or whoever, has been talking about.” to finish those sentences, feels like forever for me.

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Me too,” she said with smiles, “whenever I and your dad argues, I always wanted to be on the winner side. But when everything is calmed down, I always rethink about what I’ve said, what your dad said, and then started to think ‘why I should said something like that,’ or ‘I should have listened to him more,’ and such.”

“Ya ya, haha. I know, you ever said that. My point is, even though from the outside I look stubborn, but at the end, I always think about what you or dad said. So don’t worry. You don’t need to push some advice to be able to brainwash me instantly. If you pushed me too hard by forcing me to listen to your advice, I will naturally show more and more stubborn trait.” I explained hardly, as suddenly my dad entered the car. “Yeah, something like that.” I hastily concluded and closed our conversation. My mom smile again, and my dad looking with confused.

After that, we continue to the restaurant, and different from the usual, we can talked more freely. The usual “heavy” atmosphere (it wasn’t that heavy, but let’s say it like that) is suddenly lifted. I guess, it’s just a matter of habit. If it isn’t a habit for you to have conversation with your parents, it will be a hard thing to be started. But I guess, it worthed. Like I said, I’m not not having conversation at all with my parents. I do still talked with them, but it rarely important things to talk. Maybe you also like me, to feel that you already have a healthy relationship with your parents by talking with them once in a day, and already feel enough. Let’s rethink about it and evaluate your relationship with them, while they’re still present, not when they’re already gone.

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By Martin Tjandra Posted in Family

2 comments on “A Session with Parents

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